He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize