also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
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