He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
