OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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