Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Oh god it's open bar.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
