yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
