I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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