just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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