yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick