I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
39 Memes Anyone Who Cries When They See Their Bank Account Will Relate To
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
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