Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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