There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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