I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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