she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize