Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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