im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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