if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
