Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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