why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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