My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
