I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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