yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
