i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
