I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Houston, we have a blender
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
