elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
