You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize