I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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