we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize