i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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