Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
