"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
