he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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