pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
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