If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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