So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
