My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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