I accidentally burped into my bong.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
