I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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