She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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