Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize