Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
