don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
