Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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