can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
