Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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