its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
