I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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