Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Randomize
