I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
i now understand why vodka
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I have peed in a lot of sinks
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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