You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
