so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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