i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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