You can't special order awesome
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
