the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
