just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
someone owes me an orgasm
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.