Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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