Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
