Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
