You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
