Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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